Leaving vs. Living a Legacy

Jeff Davidson was the Co-Founder and President of Rising Above prior to his death in 2017. He was passionate about helping special-needs dads stay in the game and be the men, husbands, and dads that God called them to be. This is a post he wrote for Father’s Day in 2012 to encourage dads to live their legacy. Jeff did just that. Rising Above continues to pour into dads many ways! One special event is Extraordinary Legacy.

Extraordinary Legacy is a father focused one-night event intended to support and encourage special-needs dads. Together, the guys come together and relate about the challenges and adventures unique to this life. They leave feeling renewed, committed, and with fresh momentum to be the men God intended them to be.

Extraordinary Legacy will start 7pm (CST) November 20, 2020 online. Click the link to the left to sign up! We are so excited to offer this FREE VIRTUAL EVENT just for dads!

Leaving vs. Living a Legacy

Originally published on Goodnight Superman JUNE 15, 2012  

A couple of weeks ago I performed the funeral for the husband of one of our Rising Above volunteers who is also a family friend.  As I sat at the kitchen table and talked to his wife and children, I asked them all to describe the man. Every single one of them mentioned how safe, protected, and secure he had made them feel.

He was so engaged and involved with his family. He had coached all of them in t-ball. He had coached his own children, their cousins, and even the family grandchildren in t-ball. He had been coaching for generations. I think I was the only one at the service who did not play ball for the man.

In fact, he was on the ball field when he had his fatal heart attack that killed him. Surrounded by family, he was doing what he loved to do.

In a lot of ways, it reminded me of my own dad. I know that many of you may have had rough childhoods, and some of you grew up without a father. So I imagine Father’s Day can be tough. I am deeply sorry and I get that. But I had an awesome dad who was always engaged in my life. And like the man I described earlier, my dad coached me in baseball and basketball as a kid. We spent so much time together in the backyard or especially in the gym or driveway shooting hoops. As I’ve mentioned earlier, my favorite memories were loading up on Saturdays to go to University of Tennessee football games. (That was before they dropped out of competitive football.)

I wanted to be good at basketball because he had been so good at basketball. And I wanted to be like him. He worked multiple jobs to supplement his high school teacher and coaching salary, yet he was fully involved in my life.

He gave me my work ethic, my values, and taught me responsibility. Since we live in the same town, he still comes by my office once a week to catch up and see if there is anything I need.

When I left the six-digit income world of corporate America and sold our house, our vehicles, and most everything we had because I had a dream of starting a special-needs ministry, he supported me and said “if that’s what you want to do, go make it happen.”

I turned 45 a couple of months ago. I’m at that age where a man starts thinking for the first time about what kind of legacy he is going to leave. “What will my legacy be?”

I realized that like my dad and the man I mentioned earlier, I don’t want to leave a legacy. I want to live my legacy now. I want my family and friends to know me by the legacy my life is creating and experiencing right now. I want my legacy to be living in their lives right now while I’m still on this earth.

A living legacy so to speak.

It’s no secret how many of our kids with special needs are being raised by single female caregivers. It’s no secret how we are losing the dads. It’s no secret how so few of the dads dads who do stick around are actively engaged and involved in the lives of their special-needs children.

So dads, let’s commit to living our legacies out in the lives of children right now! Let’s work at living a legacy, not just leaving one. It’s never too late to start. Make today the day you become more involved, more engaged, more active in finding ways to give of your time, your creativity, and your energy to your special-needs child.

Some of you are still dealing with the grief, the anger, or the denial of what has been given to you. Some of you are still searching for someone to blame, or a way to “fix’ what has happened. Some of you are just bewildered, confused, and in a fog.

You didn’t plan for this, you would not have chosen this path in life, and you may not have been ready for this. But here you are, and you have a choice to make.

When I first was coming to terms with my son’s diagnosis, I screamed and cried out to God. I shook my fist at him and expressed my anger and disappointment in very hostile words.

After several weeks of this, when I finally got still and quiet, God spoke gently to my heart and said, “I’ve given you a blessing. What you do with it is up to you.”

Many years later, I now see that I have truly been given such a tremendous blessing, and I would not go back to try to change anything now. I am one blessed father.

Guys, as one special-needs dad talking to another, you’ve been given a blessing. What you do with it is up to you. Go live a legacy in your child’s life now.

Today.

Jeff and Becky’s Book, Common Man, Extraordinary Call; Thriving as the Dad of a child with special needs is available now on Amazon! Order your copy today!

Have a dad’s small group and looking for curriculum? Rising Above has small group resources available! Check out our resources page for more info!

Today’s blog was written by Jeff Davidson, June 2012.

It was an earth-shattering loss when, in May of 2017, Jeff passed away unexpectedly. Jeff lived his life in service to the special needs community and even now his message continues to impact families. His legacy lives on in all that Rising Above does.