That's My Boy

I love to sit and watch him when he is unaware of my presence. I love to watch his facial expressions and mannerisms. Sometimes I feel like I catch a little bit of myself in him. I can tell when he is about to smile or laugh before he actually does.

I know everything about him. His blue eyes, his hair color that has recently darkened, his broken tooth, the birthmark right below his waistline on the right side-- I know all that.

I know he likes to sleep on his side, that his eyesight is poor, his feet are crippled, and his hearing is overly acute. I know all that.

That’s not surprising though, after all I am his dad.

I watch his eyes dart around taking in his surroundings and the people around him. He doesn’t say anything but I know him well enough to know what he is thinking.

I can tell by the way he is acting, his expressions, and his movements, what he needs or wants, even though he doesn’t speak.

Sometimes because of his “condition” he doesn’t even know I’m in the room with him. I treasure those moments. Like when I slip into his room at night when he is asleep. I’ll just watch him sleep and listen to him breathe. Then I’ll whisper a blessing over him.

He knows he is different. Some would say “special.” He really doesn’t understand what that means yet. But I do. I have no doubt he is going to be a world-changer.

When he gets mad or frustrated at his circumstances, I feel the pain inside him. I hurt for him and just want to reach out and console him and tell him how much I love him and what he means to me.

I know he doesn’t understand why his path though life is so different, why it’s such a challenge for him. I do. But it’s hard to explain it to him right now. So I just hope he trusts me. His life has a purpose and a destiny.

I love him unconditionally. I always will. He’s my boy Jeff.


PS- I hope those of you who thought until the end that I was writing about my son Jon Alex will be blessed by this!