Well it's that time of year. The commercials are relentless and non-stop to help us lose weight, eat better, exercise more, quit smoking, and get organized for the new year. The statistics say that about half of us make New Year's resolutions, but only 8% of us actually follow through with them eventually.
I've never been big on making New Year's resolutions. Mine were more intentions that resolutions. Intentions give wiggle room. You don't feel as guilty or remorseful if you fail at an intention. For some reason it just doesn't seem so bad to fail at an intentions instead of a resolution
In other words, I was setting up my rational or justification for failure before I even started. I was giving myself permission to fail before trying. I was Ed Harris in the movie "Apollo 13" saying "Frankly gentlemen, we will try but we're probably going fail big-time," instead of saying those famous lines, "I believe this is going to be our finest hour."
I think we take that same defeated attitude into our relationships. We wish things were different, we "intend" to try to change things, we want to make it better, but...
"Well I try but he won't..."
"Its not my fault, if only she would..."
There is alway a but, isn't there?
Today I'm going to give us all a simple 10 minute a day challenge. If you follow this plan every day for 30 days I not only believe you will take your relationship to a whole new level, but I believe you will have life-altering results and create new sustainable habits. Everyone can carve out 10 minutes a day out of their schedule.
Ten minutes a day for 30 days. I'm calling it the 10/30 Challenge.
Here is how it works. There are five things on this list. Everyday you and your spouse pick one of the five things to do. You don't have to pick the same one, or even do them in the same order. But everyday you do one of the things on the list. Do that every day for 30 days, and I believe your relationship in 2013 will soar to new levels. I also believe you will not want to stop after 30 days but will want to continue.
Now guys, some of this will make you feel uncomfortable at first. But so is crouching in a deer stand in 30 degree weather with deer urine on your clothing the first time you do it.
Just try it. Start today and pick one of these five choices every day for 30 days.
1) Ask your spouse this question, "how can I bless you today?"
2) Say to your spouse, "One thing I appreciate about you is ______." And you fill in the blank.
3) Commit one simple, small random act of kindness for your spouse today.
4) Take 10 minutes to pray blessings, affirmations and praise over your child(ren) and spouse together.
5) Bring your whole family together for 10 minutes with no phone, no laptops, no television, no tablets or game systems- no nothing. And for 10 minutes just talk about your day and share what's going on together, completely distraction free. Have real conversations together.
Pick a different one of the five everyday. Mix the order up. The important thing is do one of them consistently every day.
I would love to hear from you if you are going to try the 10/30 challenge, and even more, I would love to hear your stories and followup on how it's going or working. I won't divulge any names but it would be great to share with others how the 10/30 Challenge worked for you. I'd like to know if you are at least going to try it, although you certainly don't have to. You can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org if you want to share.
Praying God's favor and blessings over you,